Letters

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Once again,  I will scurry off to the polls immersed in that potent emotional combination of enthusiasm and self-inflicted delusion ... for I have surrendered to the convoluted logic that guides me to vote for promises I don’t believe, policies I don’t understand and illusions I can see right through. The alternative is not to vote at all. Now what would happen if nobody voted? Well, I’m not exactly sure but I bet the process would have something to do with bringing in the Queen and maybe even Shiela Fraser. And nobody wants that. Let’s all vote.

Now, I have earned the right to be just a tad cynical. I’ve been voting since 1974 when Pierre Trudeau promised not to “freeze my wages”. Of course, Mr. Trudeau froze my wages in 1975 anyhow. Oooops.

In 1983 Brian Mulroney opposed free trade during his bid for his party’s leadership. He said: “We will have none of it”. Mulroney then became a champion for the Free Trade agreement when he became Prime Minister. Nice.

Here is Jean Chrétien on February 11 1983 promising to scrap the GST: "I say we will replace the tax. This is a commitment. You will judge me by that. If the GST is not gone, I will have a tough time the election after that." Well, we voted for him and then we got to judge him. That’s fair, right? Not.

And how about that Sheila Copps real life comedy sketch? She promised to resign if Chrétien broke his GST promise. So when Chrétien broke the promise she resigned. And then she ran as a candidate for the seat that was vacant because she vacated the seat by resigning because she promised to. And the people re-elected her! You can’t make this stuff up. I once met Shiela Copps in person. She seemed so darn lifelike.

Dalton McGuinty promised not to raise taxes; “not one penny” Then he raised taxes so we elected him again. I’m pretty sure that Dalton is promising not to raise taxes again.  I think Tim Hudak is promising to reduce taxes and Andrea Horwath is promising to break some contract in Quebec and build trains or something in Ontario. Bonne chance with that one, girlfriend. 

Notwithstanding the dazzling display of consistent broken promises in my voting past, I will vote again. However, I can not decide whether to vote against somebody or for somebody. I’m torn between voting party, leader or local candidate. My analysis of the leaders concludes that had one of them been the captain on the Titanic he would have likely sent out for more ice. Yet another leader reminds me of the baton twirler in my high school’s pep band. Then there is Andrea Horwath. I like here hair.  

I suppose I will be forced to simply employ the same voting strategy which I have employed so many times before.  I will vote “for” the candidate who I am most comfortable not trusting. And I will vote “against” the party I am least comfortable not believing.  And I will never vote for the candidate that I am too comfortable not trusting myself to vote for. 

See you at the polls neighbours.

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Monday, September 19, 2011